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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25829215">love is painted through my soul</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/falconwilson/pseuds/falconwilson'>falconwilson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>you put a bullet in my partner's brain [18]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CSI: Miami</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, M/M, s9e20 Paint It Black</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:00:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,140</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25829215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/falconwilson/pseuds/falconwilson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Their journey was hard, to get to this point where both of them are on the same page and open to admitting their feelings, of being together.</p><p>a short fix-it of sorts, during the events of season nine, episode twenty, “paint it black”, not really related to the case, but just a little context and background on how i think eric and ryan got together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eric Delko/Ryan Wolfe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>you put a bullet in my partner's brain [18]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1820749</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>love is painted through my soul</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tumblr — <a href="https://brandtwilliam.tumblr.com/">@brandtwilliam</a></p><p>just a perspective of their relationship and how they got together from both points of view. i wanted to tie in the different arcs of each character and use it in how their relationship came to be. hopefully it makes sense and it works with the show.</p><p>day ten and i’m killing this one story a day for a month challenge. hope you enjoy!</p><p>(// = time skip)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is a weird case for their usual work day. </p><p>Eric was in a good mood, evident to the night he spent and the company he had. </p><p>It’s only later when he sees Ryan and those memories of the night before flash beneath his eyes. When he comes to, Ryan is smiling at him, like he knows what Eric’s thinking of. </p><p>They’re in the victim’s dorm, checking out the room of the other third roommate. </p><p>The whole team is hitting dead ends left and right, the other roommate has memory loss, there was no witness to the crime, and nothing is adding up. </p><p>Though it’s become a complicated case, Eric is glad for the time spent with Ryan, even though they try not to work together as much on the same case. </p><p>As usual, the two are bantering, and Eric has always loved that about their relationship. </p><p>Early on when they first started working together, it was all push and shove. It was rough, brutal, their insults like stab wounds. </p><p>Eric knows he’s at a fault, his mindset out of control after Speed’s death. Misery is really all the rage, he thinks, remembering how he used to be before. He put Ryan at an arm’s length, afraid that if he started to care, it would only hurt so much more if Ryan got hurt. </p><p>And god, it did. The guilt and fear spreading within him was enough to choke him. The sight of Ryan flailed on the ground, the nail puncturing the eye, Eric feels like he’s reliving speed’s death all over again. </p><p>It’s enough to push all those feelings he bottled up about Ryan. All those neat little boxes he filled up in his mind, the contents exploding just at the thought that Ryan might die and he’d never know that he meant so much to Eric.</p><p>So the first thing he does when he finally sees Ryan, is kiss him. </p><p>The most unexpected part of it is that Ryan immediately returns it, curling a hand around Eric’s neck and pulling him down.</p><p>Eric’s shaken out of his thoughts by Ryan calling his name and he focuses back on the present, where Ryan is his and everything is alright. </p><p>//</p><p>Ryan’s standing in the hallway, waiting for Eric. He had abruptly decided to go out to dinner tonight and Ryan had only been slightly surprised. He had racked his brain for any reason why Eric would want to go out, but no anniversaries or special occasions pop out that would make sense. </p><p>He watches intently as Eric talks to Alexis and he smiles when he hears Eric comfort her over this whole situation. </p><p>One of the many traits that Ryan loves about Eric is that he’s a knight in shining armor. he’s quick to defend and comfort, probably due to being the only son out of a line of daughters in his family. </p><p>Their journey was hard, to get to this point where both of them are on the same page and open to admitting their feelings, of being together. </p><p>When he was first hired to become a CSI, Ryan was only a beat cop, new and young, but far from naive. </p><p>He’s seen a lot during his time as an officer but he still had a lot to learn as a CSI. </p><p>It was also a hard time, everyone keeping their distance, still mourning over the loss of their co-worker. It certainly didn’t help that Ryan was there to essentially replace him. </p><p>The most difficult one to get through was Eric, who had been like a brother to Speed, who took his loss the hardest. Ryan had tried and tried again to get close to him but Eric was stubborn. </p><p>Not only stubborn but so willing to tell everyone how Ryan wasn’t qualified to do this job, wasn’t good enough to be a CSI, shouldn’t even be here cause he’s not Speed. </p><p>Even after the nail incident and the kiss between the two, they go slow. There’s a lot of things they need to talk about and they take their time. </p><p>Then Eric gets shot. </p><p>And it’s like the end of the world, chaos and despair raining down as Ryan tries to get a grip. </p><p>All he can focus on is solving the case, nailing Eric’s shooter, trying hard not to think about how Eric could die, how he’ll never get to see Eric again, never tell him that Ryan loves him. </p><p>And that’s just it. Ryan loves him. Sure, their relationship has always been up and down, and even this past year, they’re playing nice, dancing around their feelings. But Eric gets shot and all Ryan wants to scream his feelings for him at the top of his lungs. </p><p>Eric gets better, but everything’s different. They’re walking on eggshells around each other, Ryan not sure how to do this anymore. and Eric’s already so fragile, having lose some memories. </p><p>It all pushes Ryan to the edge, til he hits rock bottom and is fired. Gambling has always been a weakness, his way of coping through the hard times. it helps when he first realized he had OCD, got him through his parents’ death, those obstacles in college. But this time, it didn’t pan out, this time he’s lost everything. </p><p>So he works hard, gains back his job, gains back his co-workers’ trust, but most of all, get back Eric. And he does, it’s worth it, and Eric helps Ryan with the gambling addiction. </p><p>They fall into step pretty quick again, after Ryan comes back to the lab and this time, their relationship is actually a thing. There’s no secrets between them, nothing holding them back from each other. </p><p>Then it all gets shot to hell again, Eric’s father crashing into their lives, Eric getting shot again and Ryan left to pick up the pieces, wondering if he can do this anymore. </p><p>But it works and they come back together, even though they’re treading the trail lightly. Ryan’s hopeful this time, trying his best to make sure everything’s good. He knows Eric is trying as well, trying to stabilize his life so he can focus on their relationship, and Ryan’s grateful for that. </p><p>Now, they’re finally working together again, and their relationship is sticking. Watching Eric now, reminds Ryan why he fell in love in the first place, even through all the hard times, even though he wanted to give up, it’s worth it, being with Eric. </p><p>Eric finally stands up and walks away, heading towards Ryan and that smile, all soft and filled with love is all for Ryan. </p><p>And Ryan knows he’d rather have all this, than anything else in the world.</p><p>But for now, all thoughts turn to dinner, and the real reason why Eric wanted to go out: because he wanted to celebrate their relationship.</p>
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